It's time to brag on Sam

While Jack watches Toy Story 2, I thought it would be a good time to write about how wonderful Sam has been through all my sickness. He has completely taken over in everything that he physically can. When he gets home, he fixes dinner, plays with Jack, cleans up dinner, plays some more with Jack, does Jack's bath alone, reads him books and puts him to bed. On the weekends and in the evenings, Sam won't let me lift a finger to do anything. He grocery shops and does many household chores. One night last week, he got home late, fixed dinner and put Jack to bed and then left to go to the grocery. Sam often works 10-12 hour days and goes in early (5:30am) to study so he doesn't have to do it in the evenings. He is such a wonderful dad to Jack, so patient and involved. Jack and I are really blessed.

(I'm fully aware that my mom will throw this back at me the next time I'm complaining)

Days Like Today. . .

Make me feel half normal. Days like today allow me to get excited about a baby coming in to the house. I feel like thinking about nursery decor, painting the upstairs, playing cars with Jack, blow-drying my hair instead of letting it air-dry. Wow, it's been a good day so far - but I probably just jinxed it.

Baby looks more like a baby now from last week.

My life these days

This is pretty much my life. I lay on the couch, sometimes sit. Jack likes to snuggle and "get cozy" with me. I'm really miserable and wish I could jump four weeks ahead. I'm in my 10th week and things aren't letting up any. The only cure for what I've got is time. I'm still constipated, I have this awful metallic taste in my mouth, I have acne so bad that I'm afraid to go out, I feel flabby and ugly, my hair is unmanageable, I feel disconnected from Jack and Sam. Pregnancy is killing me.

162 Beats Per Minute

I had an ultra-sound today at 11 am. Not sure why the time is significant, but I'm always detailed. I was able to hear my baby's heartbeat and see it's little body. Wow, how real all this seems to me today. Baby just looks like a little peanut right now but I could see the dark spot where it's eyes are and I could make out arm buds. Not only did I get to hear the heartbeat, I was able to see it beating - just fascinating. Jack was very interested in the picture I brought home. He is still saying he wants a sister. We'll see.
This is pretty much what my picture looks like.

What 8 Weeks Looks Like

Baby is the size of a raspberry, so I've read. From looking at my stomach, you'd think it would be more like an eggplant. (Maybe my pooch is from something else - see yesterday's posting:) I'm having a good morning and I'm thrilled to be feeling this "normal".

Last night as I lay on my new bed - the couch, I was thinking about what women go through during pregnancy. It's remarkable. The books don't talk about it sequentially, they just touch on the bad stuff bits at a time. Here are some that I remember thinking about last night:

• the pressure to take care of yourself, eat right, etc.
• feeling like you are always on the verge of throwing up.
• the never-ending search for things that you can eat and not feel horrid.
• keeping up with household chores that CAN'T wait until Sam gets home.
• constipation
• sore boobs
• clothes not fitting
• getting out of breath by walking across the room
• Acne
• Restless and itchy legs
• hating the way you look naked.
• Not leaving the house because you're too sick.
• taking care of your toddler's needs

This is just the first trimester. And, I know I won't feel like this the entire pregnancy. But, it's all I can think about and talk about right now. It's consuming. I'm thankful for these woes because the end result will be a precious child. But, I will NEVER do this again. This is it for me.

Flat Stomach . . . and more complaining

I thought I'd take a moment to put a picture up of me with my sisters. This is a picture of me when I was pregnant but didn't know it yet. The days of wearing that shirt are GONE! My stomach started to pooch almost immediately (around five weeks). I heard that with your second child, showing starts earlier. I didn't realize I would have trouble buttoning my pants at 6 weeks pregnant. This was also a chance to show off my pretty sisters.

On to my complaining. I'm constipated already. I vowed that I wouldn't let it get as bad with this pregnancy (nine straight days with Jack), but I'm heading in that direction I think. How do you vow something when you're not sure how to prevent it in the first place? All the books say it's part of pregnancy, the muscles relax and don't work as efficiently - fantastic.

And of course, I'm sick. Saturday I felt half-normal. Sunday after lunch and on has been awful again. My mom is gone, but thankfully my neighbor, Amy, has agreed to watch Jack on and off for me. What a blessing.

Mom to the Rescue!

Thank goodness for my mom. She is driving here as I type. This morning has been my worst morning so far. Jack has been watching TV all morning long, I finally just got a banana down and hopefully it will stay there.

I read an article on the Internet yesterday about morning sickness. It was fantastic and I'll put the link at the bottom of this post. It was about how isolating and depressing morning sickness can be. How all the pregnancy books have about a paragraph to address eating crackers and bland food, etc. But none discuss the mental job morning sickness does on us.

I have already concluded that I believe my sickness is just as bad now as it was with Jack. The difference this time is; I'm older, have more responsibilities, I've been through it once before, I'm forcing myself to eat and drink (even if it makes me hurl). The upside to this time - I have Jack. Often I've read that having a young one makes it harder (and it is harder at times). Jack is a great distraction. I love watching him play and be creative with his "scenerios" with his cars and toys. It distracts me from how awful I'm feeling - usually.

http://www.pregnancy.org/article.php?sid=698 Morning Sickness Article

I have the best Son

Jack is such a doll. He played so well today I can hardly stand it. I did have a better day today than yesterday, but he was such a joy. Yesterday I ended up calling my neighbor, Amy, crying so hard. I think she thought something was wrong - like really bad wrong. I was so sick in the afternoon I had to ask if Jack could go over there and play. Of course Jack didn't mind, he loves it over there. I was so grateful.

These posts are boring me, so I'm sure they are boring whoever is reading them. Right now it's gas-gas-gas, sick-sick-sick. That's all I've got.

On My Own

Since getting really sick, I have only had one day by myself - Friday. The weekend is over and Sam is back to work. . . ugh. He really took over and fixed dinners, did laundry (folding it, too). He would take over with Jack and take him up to the playroom, etc. If only he would just clean all the bathrooms, mop the floor, dust and vacuum, scrub all the cat vomit stains out of the carpet?

The nausea is constant - all day long. But the difference with this pregnancy is I feel hypoglycemic and nauseous. If I am hungry, the nausea is worse and I feel shaky and almost dizzy, like a hypoglycemic attack. Sound like fun?

The mornings are definitely the worst. I have to eat a bunch of dry cereal in bed before I can even move. Then if Jack wants to snuggle in his bed for a few minutes before getting up, my sugar starts to drop again. Not good. It's true that you do what you have to do. Jack keeps telling me, "I'm gonna take care of you, Mommy." So sweet.

Now that I've announced it to the World . . .

I thought it'd be a fun idea (and a bit of therapy) to journal, and sometimes photograph, my journey with pregnancy number 2. This will not be a blog for the timid or proper. I have every intention to write detailed accounts of the pregnancy ups and downs (I'm sure my mom will be thrilled).

I'm currently in my 7th week and experiencing morning sickness - all day long. I was delusioned by the first two weeks thinking, "Oh, I'm doing so much better than last time". Taa-haa. This baby was probably laughing it's little tadpole body all over my uterus - because it had something else in mind. It is hard to complain too much as I know first hand how much worse it could be. After church today, all I wanted was a Big Mac. And boy was it good. At least I can eat, at least I can shower and brush my teeth everyday (so far). That couldn't be said when I was in the first trimester with Jack. I have so much to be thankful for.